Family Matters

Here are 2 situations which worth pondering…..

1^st Scenario

Let say, the ship you are riding together with your wife and your mother are about to sink. Unfortunately, the Captain just took the last life jacket and off he went into the sea. You, yourself should be able to save yourself as you can swim, too bad for those 2 as they didn’t know how to swim. So, what do you do? Who would you give your life to save…? Will it be the caring mother who nurtures all your life or the wife who is the mother of your son?

2^nd Scenario

Marriage drama

Wife: Honey, apala ur mom tu myibuk saja hal rumahtangga kita! Your family tu lagi kaki penyibuk, hal rumah tangga kta pn dorang mo kepoh, taula kita macamna mo urus. Btul tak honey?

Mom: Kami bkan sibuk, cma concern about kmu dua pnya well being. Kalu sdh thap halau2 ni, family ada hak masuk campur untuk mdamaikan / myelesaikan mslh… Is it a bad thing trying to help .. I am not here to create chaos, I am not some ALong, I just want to tolong! Kalu itupun x ble... hmmmm....

Husband: ????…bingung…

So husband which words will you choose to listen?

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I have the opportunity to see the drama unfolds and listens to different kind of views from my families. To see my families trying to intervene in hopes to settle the drama as well as teaching the wife a lesson or two about respect for the husband as well as the in laws, truly a heated drama that is worth more than the Sinetron on TV! Yet, unfortunately… niat murni my family kena tolak bulat2 oleh si husband yang juga merupakan our family.

From my point of view, families have their rights to intervene in this particular marriage! I know I am not yet near to be a parent or still being regards as “budak-budak”… however, being 1 of the Brady Bunch, I do feel the heat whether to join the intervention or stand on the sideline. I choose to be the latter; still, I have 2 eyes, 2 ears, 1 mouth and a mind of my own… and that surely why I need to express my mind about this matter. Since I can’t talk to him face to face, at least I could somehow reach him through my blog.

I believe it is unwise for this person to say his family being too “kepoh” and “pyibuk” for trying to help in settling his marriage problem. Auch, that is shockingly painful to hear from his mouth. I mean come on la… There’s a few things that I wish to highlight here;

1. No family will waste their time to ruin the marriage of its members for the sake of revenge or saja suka-suka mo kepoh!

2. The wife need to learn a tough lesson of respect! Respect kepada the mother in laws especially and ya the husband! Saying that the wife “TIDAK PERLU” minta maaf dengan the mother in laws simply a NO-NO! BIG FAT MISTAKE! Gosh!

3. It kills me to see my aunt worries and cry about this matter…! Bloody MONGKAY!

4. I for a fact have no respect towards the wife, sepa suruh kurang ajar to my mum and my aunt… she worth zero in my eyes!

5. Family will always be family… We do stick together…especially when 1 of the members is in trouble. The others will empathize and do whatever they can to help out. But, don’t be too proud to accept the help being offer to settle the matter. You weren’t born alone nor standing alone during your marriage with her. You have your family to back you up, celebrating the joy, grief with you as well as standing beside you in time of your need.

6. Kes men halau-halau ni kes berat tau… ! U need the extra help…... and ya.. u need to wake up smell the coffee!

7. If you want us the family to stay away from your own personal problem…..sure…. Imagine this… When you decided to get marry, is it a one man show or is it a family thing? Who decided to spare their time and come to make the wedding a success, who decorate and cooked for it…? We … the family … who were there … making one of our family dream to be a husband come true….. I guess all that probably forgotten by you… Oh well….!

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In life, there’s a time when we will reach this kind of crossroads. The only difference is the situation, timing, people or places….yet the theme is still the same “Making a choice”. When you arrive at the crossroads, will you be ready to be a man and make the final decision. In this drama, I already seen his choices … and it is outright brainless…! Cmon’ la … it is time to face the music and dance to the music of your heart!

I guess at time we do find it hard to admit that we put our spouses/gf /bf /friends first before our own blood relatives especially our parents in particular. Is it because we find them to be needy, super boring and most of the time interfering our personal space and life. Either way, being too selfish for our own happiness has its own repercussion. When we do realize our own ignorance, it might be all too little too late. I guess watching this drama unfold in front of me really taught me a lesson about the thin line between family (parents) VS our gf / bf / friends. Which 1 should you be prioritizing more? …. Most often we fail to find the check and balance between both subjects. In the end, we put the latter first and neglect our own parent & family!

Oh well, at least I realize marriage is not just about you and me alone…. It is about you, me and both our families as well…! Never overlook the value of family and its roles in our life. Gosh…what a roller coaster life it had been for all of us... ! I do think I am somewhat becoming disrespect of marriage institution... Either way... that's life in the modern world.... Like they say, if you cant take the heat, get out of the kitchen!

By the way, I know it is kinda harsh, but I only express from what I heard and saw.... Whatever happens ...happens... All the best....! Though, I do appreciate the fact that you don't attack me during your drunk episode ... !

PS: This will be the last time I will be talking about “him & his marriage drama” … I am retiring this topic and surely this will leave him at peace…!