Bad Day ...Again

I feel like crap today....and as I woke up early this morning I have this crazy headache and my head literally buzzing! It was a sight in which I hope I shall never experience it! Oh man b4 u get into the wrong idea, I wasn't hungover from Last nite, I was as a matter of fact contracted Fever/ Cold / Demam from my dear friend Zz. That's sux, it totally put me in2 an emo mood.

You know the worst part, is when I was dragged out of the bed at 7.30am and escorted my dear aunts and cuzzie to the airport! OMG, I hate the rushing part especially during my sick moment! Coughfing all the way was ok though yet the worst part is staying in balance! All my body ache and soar, my nose was runny, head explodingly ache & emotianally tired and drain from the fever! Hohoho - seems too much but then that's what I felt during the day! During my shopping of lights 4 the new house simply made my head spin even more. I mean there's various type of choices and all look seemingly beautiful and shiny. I end up choosing the first 1 I saw and take my aunt's and my cuzzie's advices...... Easy, I was done and out of there for about 1 hour an half. Not bad for 1st time lights shopper! I regret the fact that I didn't brough my camera and take pics on the light! I do hope my family love the choices I made and hope the choices will go well on the house decor.


FYI- Im still in an emo mood and I do hate eating the medications! Urgh, I do hope Christmas will be glisteningly bright and healthier for me!


Ps: Sorreee for my tantrums and rudeness this morning -> can't help it when you are in an emo mood and have fever!

Have a Blessed Christmas

Kotobian ...Kotobian...Kotobian do Blakat Krismas ..!

What I want 4 Christmas:

1. My mom to get well and her legs strong enough to run.

2. Family gathering & dinner together.

3. Nothing but blessing from HIM to my families.

4. For all of us to be Merry & Happy New Year!

5. People will find the true meaning of family!

• Christmas this year might be the quietest one as we will not have any open house as usual. This is due to the fact my mom being unwell these few months. Well, I guess its ok la, as her health is the main priority now. At least I am with my family and that’s seems to be ok for me. I do hope everybody will have a wonderful and blessed Christmas…. As well as Happy New Year 2009!

My time spent in Sipitang

Welcome To Kg Muhibah - My Homiee

Free time is something in which I have a lot in Sipitang. So like any other vibrant & sweet girl will do, I contribute most of it by cleaning the house from top to bottom. It’s not quite spick and span yet, but it can be considered as ok la….! At least I didn’t use my free time by slacking all over the house.

Some of the Pics from The KKD Holy Family Caroling's Team



The After Party

I also joined my KKD’s Caroling Team and that was quite interesting and merry. At the same time ,I did do some good by spreading the joy of Christmas to every house within our domain. But, what bothers me most is why they change the lyric of Merry Xmas to → Blessed Xmas… I spot something wrong with it yet oddly interesting to hear all at the same time. I specially love the Dusun version of it → Kotobian, Kotobian, Kotobian do blakat Xmas….! That so sweet …loves it! Oh ya, the team was very sweet and welcoming, that’s something which I truly enjoyed as my past time in Cptg. Plus the food that was served simply fattening (yummy) and I gained extra pound 4 that… arghh … Xmas with an extra stuffing in my tummy!

The things I hate most in Cptg....

No Internet connection at home.... Im lost without my Internet ....

The Internet connection in Hi-Tec SUCKS big time -> Super duper slow (BUDUS)!!!!!

Most people I met here r so BORING ( Hv 2 b hypocrite while wit 'em) ... excepts families & close friends.

My mom keep on watching most of the Indonesian drama on TV which I find to be entertainingly sux!!! -> Just not my cup of tea except 4 the drama "Mutiara" at TV9.

Nothing interesting on TV...

No fellow friends 2 hangout ......

The mounting of house chores to be done ....

The silent is killing me!! Same norms & routine ... can't stand that!

Im immobilize here in Cptg!

Everyday feels like Monday!! U want to run away yet u r stuck in the same place! Duh!

The same continuous questionnaire by fellow neighbours! -> refer to my blog b4.

Home Sweet Home ..... My ASS!!!

Bite me

I am finally back in my own room which I found to be quite weird and odd in so many ways. The fact that I finished unpack all my stuffs seems to scare me even more. I feel that somehow I will be permanently stuck here ……. in Sipitang. Not that I resent it, but I feel as a grown woman I should out grow my hometown by exploring other places. Urgh, scareee!!! Not that I hate being a “kampung girl”, but I don’t know, I can’t seem to breathe here, like I lost myself, everything feels like normal… Life ere move in a very slow pace, in fact I am starting to die slowly of boredom, that’s why I need to find a job A.S.A.P, start living on my own, be able to provide for myself and not depend much on my parents. I feel like such a burden to them. I am also afraid of meeting my neighbours (so funny that I finally come to this stage). Hate to be asked the common questionnaire, “what are you doing now”, “where r you now?” , “what is your plan”, “hey, are you going to be a teacher afterwards”, “so how is your posting” , “kamu pnya ijazah diiktiraf ka?”, “ble ka kamu dpat kerja ni di sekolah kerajaan?”, “ anak c …… sdah jadi cikgu d SMPO 2, ko bila lagi?”……

-> All these questions seems to be driving me mad…. I just want to scream out loud in front of their faces and say shut up... but instead I went home and cried alone in my old & blue room, crying the blue out of me (ironic). Honestly being here gives me the creeps & the pressure of getting a job seems to be mounting on my shoulder. Duh, I guess I am not as lucky as I thought I was. I shud have taken BBA instead of BED!

Basically, I don’t have a clue about how to get a job, which job should I be applying as I am super duper confuse! I am lost, honestly lost. Where do I begin, I am taking Bachelor of Education from UNITAR and the fact that most people questioned about whether or not this course is validate by the government really slimming the chances of me branching out. Yes, last time I checked it is VALIDATE by the MQA & government. But the fact that we are from private does not allow us to ride the “smooth highways” as to other graduates of educators from local universities and Maktab. We need to fill in the forms 1st together with our transcript then post it to the Ministry of Education. Then, the waiting start, in which hoping to be call for interview from the government (I guess), but we do have to wait long time as there is a long list of names plus the chances is slim as most of the empty positions is given out to those from local universities. We the private will have to wait some more (reality bites big time) -> that’s the basic procedure of us graduates from private institutions. But, if we opt to go and teach 4 private sectors … up to us, yet like I said I am lost. I haven’t had a clue of how to dig myself out of this pitfall. I know I should have locus control of my destiny, yet I am truly honestly lost. Lost in the world of job as well as suffocating myself here in Sipitang! -> Shoot me but before that lend a helping hand and dig me out of this pitfall!!

Just Goofing around ....Part 2

Women in my Life

Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot.... Hahahaha...maybe it's the fact that I've been very-very senang or the fact that I have 2 much free time at hand.....!!!


What have I been thinking so deeply, you might wonder??? Well, for once I am acknowledging that my life is blessed and in a way that I may not appreciate till lately. I have a strong family connection in which sometimes I resent it to a point which I try to ignore them.... But the more I run, the more I am bonded with them...Let’s face it, they are bunch of people that I am fully & truly attach with.... Hahaha.... That's the truth and as a matter of fact now we are all cram in my cuzen’s house with limited space to move and to sleep (*I blame Christmas shopping*). Still, somehow I feel belong and I do feel I can be myself and goof around without any cares of people judging me silently. They are my family and I feel deeply connected with every single one of them. I wish all of them nothing but the best and let them be strong no matter what the obstacles lays ahead of them. For once I am sure they will get through it as they are strong women with wit and independently beautiful in so many ways.

Talking bout strong woman, I’ve been very lucky to be surrounded with strong women in my 23 years of my life (*I wish more years to come*) and in some ways I do feel that’s where I got my courage as well as my loud character. I am not saying my family is perfect to the teeth. We do have our ups and down, we might no be financially stable, our clothes might not be designer approve, we don’t have the fancy cars, we don’t go for posh holidays (*except for my aunt and my cuzzie*), but one thing for sure I appreciate the fact that we spent time to talk, laugh out loud and annoyingly being ourselves ~~ Stupid in many ways, yet wiser in our own sweet, uniquely different characters → (*does it even make sense!!*). Whatever it is, they are the one that you can go for in time of need, because family is for keep and for life you are bonded with them. So, its either you part with them angrily or be one of them, its true they say, if you can’t beat them, join them. I know I am a happy camper although sometimes I wish they will be much nicer in their choices of words as they words is sharper than the blade itself, one cut, you’ll be wounded for life. …. AUCH…. Pedih eeeehhh…..

PS: Bitch is not worth to be acknowledged as family yet they do deserve few harsh lessons of 2^nd chances….. (*Wink-Wink*)